Category Archives: Uncategorized

297: Played by men with funny shaped balls …

DearHeart: Oh, they’ve got a penalty kick
Me: *watches ball sail between the sticks
DH: that puts them ahead
Me: *watches score go from 25:23 to 25:24 to 25: 26 to 25:27 to…
Me: But their score is just going up and up and up……
DH: I think you’re looking at the time.

I have so got a grasp of this game.

295. You’ve got your traboules, I’ve got mine…

“So, are any of you English?” asks Annaliese. There are a couple of dozen takers for the English Language tour of Lyon’s Old Town but we’re a pretty cosmopolitan lot. ActorLaddie and I mumble a bit. I suspect we’re not about to be congratulated on our Good Governance.

“I’ve been reading the news,” says Annaliese. “About Boris Johnson.” Everyone chortles – apart from us. Then the tour begins.

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292. Will these bricks ne’er be clean?

Oh what a beautiful morning! We’re forecast for 33° later today – gorgeous drying weather; so the soundscape of birdsong and imaginary church bells (it’s Sunday) is currently overlaid by the romantic clunk of a pillowcase-worth of Lego churning away in the washing machine.  (Other brands of construction bricks are available.)

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288. Passing it on…

Grannie Chapman could neither read nor write, Pa tells me, so she signed her name with an X.  But around Industry Terrace and Beehive Place in Brixton, it was, often as not, Grannie Chapman who saw people into the world, if you didn’t want to bother the midwife or incur the expense of a doctor.

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285 #TomsVision

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realised that I’d been tactless. The last thing Tom needed, being, as he was, in the grip of dyskinesia (linked to Parkinson’s drugs; makes you move uncontrollably; just awful) and also having a conference-ful of important people to talk with; I’m sure the very last thing he needed was for some fool of a woman asking for his autograph on her copy of his book.

But Tom Isaacs had been a hero of mine, ever since I’d read “Shake Well Before Use” a couple of months earlier, and it was the first time I’d met him, and he couldn’t have been more warm and welcoming. Basically, I was starstruck. Still am, really. He even apologised for the writing being shaky! Him. Apologising to me. Good grief.

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284. Would you Adam and Eve it?

“So Frank says to me, ‘say something in Cockney,’ so I say ‘apples and pears’ and he says, ‘what does that mean?’ and I say ‘stairs. It means stairs.’ So he laughs and says ‘tell me another’ and I say ‘nice whistle and flute’ and I tell him that means ‘suit’. ‘How about that, Lillian?’ he says to his missus, only she don’t hear ’cause she’s a bit mutton.

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Who would have thought

the beer bottle had so much glass in it?

#whoops #StupidWoman #Ma’sKitchenNowSmellsLikeBrewery #CrunchyGlassEverywhere #SuchFun

276. A loo with a view…

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First run through…

“So, have you been to the Minack before?” I ask, when we have a lull in the programme selling.

“Oh yes, lots of times! A few years ago, we did The Producers. As we were bringing in the props – crates of swastikas and Nazi banners and so on, we passed a party of German tourists.” FellowProgrammeSeller grimaces a little. “It was all a bit awkward, really. Would you like a programme?”

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275. Be careful what you wish for…

I’m safely on home territory now; more in danger of rust than sunburn. You know where you are with rain. Siestas confuse me.

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273. Well, since you ask me for a tale of obsessive behaviour…

“There’s a woman who comes to all ‘The Bridge’ related events dressed as Saga – leather trousers and everything.  She even has the same car!” (Sofia Helin)

Now, I adore Detective Saga Noren  as much as the next person and would love her to end the series living happily with Henrik and his ghost children – though I’m not holding my breath. But there’s fandom and then there’s weird.  Reading interviews and blogs is OK; dressing in leather trousers and following the actor who plays her, borders on the obsessive.

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