“I need a name for my blog,” I say to ActorLaddie, as he stirs the soup. “I want something that reflects the subject but doesn’t sound too morose.”
“How about ‘I’ve got Parkinson’s LOL’ ?”
“I need a name for my blog,” I text to DearHeart. She’s walking the dog along the Yorkshire coast but soon comes up with ‘Shaken but only slightly stirred’. Only to be expected, I guess, from a Judi-Dench-ophile. Still, there’s mileage in the Shaky theme. A shaky start? Shaken to the core? Shake, rattle and roll?
“It’s more of a tremor than a shake,” points out ActorLaddie. “What about ‘The tremoring teacher’?” But I might not always be a teacher. Whereas, until they find a cure, I will have Parkinson’s.
“I need a name for my blog,” I say to FellowKnitter as we drive to the wool shop. We come up with various permutations on the word Parkinson’s. Tempted by ‘A little touch of Parky in the night’ until FKnitter points out it sounds like a slightly racy chat show.
“I’m thinking of calling my blog ‘The Jelly Chronicles,” I say to YoungLochinvar. He grunts in a kind of quizzical, geek speak way.
When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s – 30th May this year – 3.20 pm – a Thursday – I wondered how long it would take for the children at school to notice. They’d be sure to say when they did. Children don’t hold back on that sort of thing. One said to me recently “You know, you’re looking really … old.” Thanks Grace.
So I’ve prepared my cover story. When the first one mentions my shaky hand – all right, tremoring hand – I plan to tell them that I was recently bitten on the finger by a radioactive trifle in a freak Ocado delivery (Dr Death in Bile Blueberry van) and am now gradually turning into jellyfrom the hand upwards. Eventually I will become JellyWoman; special powers sliding under doors. What do you think?
Chances are though, when it does happen, I’ll come over all unnecessary and flee to the staff room, pursued by a class of Mixed Infants.
I explain this to YoungLochinvar. He nods. “I like the name,” he says. “You’ll get lots of visitors thinking it’s a weird sex blog. Because of the jelly thing.”
I’ll take his word for that. But if you are waiting for this to veer into 50 shades of Jelly; well, see that back button on your browser?
Otherwise, welcome to the Jelly Chronicles.