Wending our way Westward ho today, don’t you know: training it across Germany before slipping into France to reach Strasbourg about time for a spot of tea and muffins, if the local eatery runs to such riches.

We’re in a proper compartment, of course: six seats and a door to the corridor.  Relieved to shut out racket of sprog next door who’s been bawling since starters orders like a bloke barred entry to the Drones on account of a mix-up in the neckwear department.

Bit of a hitch at the off when Laddie couldn’t find the third-class coach so has had to bundle in with me.  But he’s a discrete cove and the ticket- inspector let it go without a blink.  Didn’t even bother to look at the passports; in fact only once in our jaunts has anyone asked to look at them since leaving the mother-ship.  Bit of a rum state of affairs, if you ask me. I mean, I’ve even seen members of the fairer travelling around unaccompanied. Could lead to anything.

And talking of the fairer, there’s one in our compartment of the maturer variety. No doubt some cove’s aunt on her way to give her poor nephew an earful. Wouldn’t bother me so much if she didn’t bally well keep leaning over to write her name on the window with her finger. Deuced difficult when a fellow’s trying to admiring the scenery, which has gone all mists and mellow fruitfulness over the last couple of days; loaded vines, corny sheafs and whatnot.

Oh, I say! Now we’ve gone into a tunnel: just as my cares were being balmed away on Nature’s ample.  And, to top it all, the dratted woman’s made the glass all smudgy.

As soon as we’re out from this Stygian G, I’ll get Laddie to give that a going over.  I can see that he’s missing his usual cloth-work.

At last: back out into the daylight and – I say, the old bird seems to have toddled off. No sign of her. Vaporised into the ether, you could say.  That’s the trouble with aunts; you can never get them to stay put.

What? No that’s fine, these seats are free. In fact, we’re getting off at Strasbourg, coming up quite soon, I believe.

Hello? Yes, as I’ve just said to this other gentleman, help yourself.  Laddie is about to set to with the baggage.  I’ll be off in a moment; in fact if I can just squeeze past…

Now there’s a rum thing; never been introduced and already planning to murder their wives!  Makes one glad to be a free man.  Don’t you agree, Laddie?  Laddie?