49. Under Starter’s Orders

Dear Mr Dickens,

I think it was most unfair of you to claim that the ‘one great aim of English Law is to make business for itself.’ (Apologies if that’s not quite right.  A Levels were some time ago and the neurology waiting room inexplicably fails to have a copy of Bleak House to hand.)

It makes perfect sense that our lawyers and our purchasers’ lawyers should have taken months and months to effect the sale of our house.  It’s a very complicated matter; what with us moving to an empty bungalow and our purchasers being in rented accommodation.

You may claim, I suppose, that the delay which took place when one lot of solicitors wrote to the other lot of solicitors; who wrote to us asking for the certificate of authorisation for the loft extension; which the first lot of solicitors had already had from us and had in fact already copied to the second lot of solicitors – you may claim that this was unnecessary.  Not at all, I would argue.  Just being cautious.

Now I suppose that you’re going to say it’s unreasonable for the whole thing to be held up because the first lot of solicitors say that the second lot of solicitors want an inspection report of electrical works which don’t exist, even though the second lot of the solicitors have told the estate agents that they are not waiting for this.  Again, you can’t be too careful with these things.  No end of trouble has been caused by faulty non-existent electrical works.

It would be just too easy to exchange the contracts we’ve all signed and confirmed the date which suits us all.  And if that should have happened quickly, we might have wondered why the bill was so steep.  And then where would we all be?



Yours tremblingly,


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