121. Wish you were here…

Conversation 1
Hi Ma. Are you having a good time?
How are things there?
A rat has eaten our toilet.

That’s nice.
I don’t think you heard me properly. I said ‘a rat has eaten our toilet’.
What did you say?
A rat has eaten our toilet.
A what?
A rat.
No, I’m going to pass the phone to your father. It sounds like you’re saying a rat has eaten your toilet.
Hi Pa.   A rat has eaten our toilet.

Conversation 2
Daughter rat?
Hello Mother Rat. Are you having a good time?
Well, we had a nightmare journey.
Oh yes?
Thought we’d try a different route. Lost our way completely. And of course your father wouldn’t ask for directions.
Oh dear.
Quite. He ended up in a cul-de-sac. Tried to eat his way out through a toilet, would you believe?
He’d made five holes before giving up.
Oh dear.
Still, it’s improved that toilet no end.  Much airier.

Conversation 3
Actor Laddie: So where did you put it?
YoungLochinvar: In the shed.
AL: You’ve put the borrowed camping toilet in the shed?
Jellywoman: It’s the obvious place.
YL: Well, we’re not going to put up a toilet tent in the lawn, are we?
JW: And the greenhouse seemed a bit public.YL: So we put it in the shed.
AL: Not the bathroom?
YL and JW: D’oh!
Sheepish exit to fetch toilet.

One response

  1. It still doesn’t make any sense not to put a chemical toilet somewhere outside.

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