17. Slow, slow, quick quick, slow


“Look, dragon breath!”  Mixed infants circle round me, their breath steaming in the winter air.  I roar obligingly and they scamper away.

One little dragon loses her footing and is brought to me, howling, by Katie.  We check out the knees and agree that a quick magic rub and the application of a little TLC will be sufficient.  We’re just setting off on a turn around the playground when there’s a tug on my coat.  Owen is standing behind me with a plastic cup filled with mud.

“Coffee?” he asks.  I take the cup and pretend to sip.


“That’ll be fifty pounds,” he says. “You can pay by card.”  I pick up a leaf and hand it over.  “Do you want cash-back with that?” he asks.

But I don’t have time to answer as Katie has spotted a scuffle over by the fence.  As I walk towards them, one of the boys catches sight of me.  I fix him with my Paddington Bear hard stare and beckon.  They slouch towards me.

“What’s going on, Joe?”

“He called me the e-word!” Joe steams indignantly.  I frown.  I know many, many insults but can think of none starting with ‘e’.

“Which e-word would that be then, Joe?”

“He said ‘idiot’,” Joe pronounces.

I do my best to look grave.  “That wasn’t very kind, friendly and polite was it?”  The boys shake their heads.  “Now are you going to shake hands or shall I get cross with you?”  Reluctantly they shake hands.  “Now elbows,” I say. They touch elbows.  “Now feet.”  Starting to grin, they balance on one foot and wave the other in the air.  “What are you going to shake next?” I ask.

“Bottoms!” they say together.  As they waggle their hips, giggling, I look at my watch.  Five minutes down, still a whole fifteen minutes of playtime to go.


“Playtime,” I say to the class. “It’s cold – you’ll need your coats.”  We usher the stragglers out the room, do up zips, help on gloves.  I grab some sheets to photocopy, a couple of dirty cups and make my way up to the staff room.  Queuing up at the urn, I glance at my watch.  Fifteen minutes down already, only five minutes of playtime to go.

It strikes me that when Einstein was working out his ideas on the relativity of time, there was no need to mess about with trains and platforms.  A good bout of playground duty would have proved without doubt that time moves at different speeds in different situations.

And I know for sure that this next week, the last week of the holiday, will go past almost before I have saved this post.

One response

  1. Hi
    Have just read all your blog and you will not be surprised to know that it is the first blog that I have ever read. Thanks for the note in the Christmas card, how I hate writing messages in Christmas cards and always leave them until it is too late to post. That is why I do not even set out to write notes in them anymore, thinking that people would sooner have a noteless card than think I had forgotten about them having not had a card at all.
    Bits of your blog made me laugh. Thank goodness children children dont change much over the years unlike government policies and endless initiatives and strategies.
    Am thinking about you.. Keep doing the blog, you can count me as one of your regular readers now xx
    Is this what you are supposed to write as a reply?

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